Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? (Book plug)
Last week we looked at Paul’s advice to single people. This week I read a fantastic book, in which I was rebuked for using the word “single” to describe the unmarried. The author’s contention is that in the church community, unmarried people are not alone, but are an integral part of a family unit– not only in their families, but also in the household of God. I stand sufficiently red-faced.
But I would like to introduce you to this excellent resource for single unmarried ladies. I love the tongue-in-cheek title, “Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married? And other helpful comments.”
Nancy Wilson (who has managed to gracefully survive decades of being married to prickly author and pastor Doug Wilson), offers some solid spiritual, and practical advice on how to deal with insensitive comments, as well as some of the other foibles of a marriage-dominated community.
She does so with winsome authority, charming wit, and helpful frankness.
My favorite vignette is a snapshot demo conversation in which she teaches ladies to decline a persistent male suitor.
“Hi.”
-”Hi.”
“Want to come to my apartment for dinner and watch my slides?”
-”No thanks.”
“Ah, come on. It will be great. My slides are fantastic.”
-”No doubt they are. But I’d rather not.”
“Are you sure?”
-”Yes, I’m sure.”
“Would you reconsider?”
-”No, I wouldn’t.”
“But why don’t you want to come watch my slides?”
-”I think I said no thanks. Can you read my lips? N o th a n k s.“
Now some of you are going to think, “Oh, but that is so rude?” Yes, that was very rude. He was completely out of line.
My 2 cents here: Guys, there is a line between romantically persistent, and downright annoying. Learn it. Chinese water torture is also persistent. So is an itch.
Also, when a lady says “Maybe if you were the last man on earth…” your response should not be, “So there’s a chance?” You should apologize for having pushed her to the point where she is clutching at ways of turning you down.
Please feel free to share any other “no thanks” advice you may have for our single unmarried readers.
