Can the Noah movie stay afloat?

Can the Noah movie stay afloat?

Noah movieWhen I first watched the trailer of the new Noah movie (Paramount/Regency coming 2014), I was really excited. I mean, how often do we see an epic rendition of a biblical account? I appreciated the fidelity of Gibson’s Passion of the Christ and found Heston’s iconic Moses in the Ten Commandments satisfying (far more so than the cartoon Prince of Egypt. But to have a-list Russell Crowe as Noah in a blockbuster of the most dramatic ancient even in history… wow.

But, I should have known that Hollywood was being as sneaky as a serpent in the garden. The trailer looks 99% faithful to the biblical account, including the fact that Noah’s grandfather, Methuselah (Anthony Hopkins) was alive at the time, that Enoch (Methuselah’s father) predicted the coming judgment, and that the water came from below and above. But alas, the trailer may just be a cleverly arraigned bait to lure Christians and Jews to buy a ticket on opening weekend before the truth of the fallacies go public.

I have already read  (here) that the early test screenings proved that the reaction from Christians and Jews was “troublesome” for the producers. Word on the cyber-street is that there are discussions between the producers (whose commitment is to make a deluge of profit) and the director (whose commitment is to his ego) about the final cut of the movie being more acceptable to the people who really care that the screenplay is being touted as  based on the true story. So maybe the final product will be something we don’t gag at. I’m not holding my breath.

Todd Frield does a funny mockumentary moment here, and includes an interview with Crowe describing Noah as a man who let thousands perish unnecessarily, employing this unflattering epitaph: “He wasn’t good, he wasn’t even nice.”

Creation expert, Ken Ham, has written a very helpful blog post (here) about the movie. I’ve included it for your perusal. It’s pretty fascinating, albeit gut-wrenchingly disappointing…

Ken Ham:

Is the movie trailer promoting the blockbuster film Noah—to be released in March—part of a Hollywood con?

Why would I even suggest that? Well, if you watch the movie’s trailer, it seems that the film might be compatible with the biblical account of the Flood and Ark of Noah. But I believe the trailer was put together very carefully and cleverly to attract Christians and Jews—those who might be inclined to pay to see the film and not speak out against it. In fact, many Christians and Christian organizations have already come out publicly to say they can’t wait to see this movie. But what will Noah, with movie star Russell Crowe, really show? Should Christians promote this movie just based on what Hollywood is letting them see?Crowe

We have heard from various sources—including two close friends of AiG who watched a rough cut of the film—that it is not at all faithful to the biblical account in Genesis. The final movie will probably be very unbiblical in some bizarre and shocking ways.

For example, the main characters of the movie are Noah, his wife, and three sons—and one little girl they rescued after all in her family were murdered by an evil tribe. She was badly injured when they found her, but Noah’s wife placed healing nectar on her stomach and she later grew up to become the eldest son’s wife. For the longest time she was barren in the womb until Noah’s wife convinced Methuselah to bless her womb—against Noah’s wishes.

Noah at first is portrayed as a humble yet strong good man—a father and husband who protected his family from the evil that had come upon the world. But as he helped build the Ark, he was portrayed more like a basket-case who was convinced that his family was the last generation. He repeated over and over again that God would not let them repopulate since God would replant Eden without man and perfection would be reestablished with the “innocent animals” God brought on the Ark. Even when Noah’s eldest son brought news to the family on the Ark that his wife was expecting, the movie’s Noah said essentially, “If it is a male, he shall live. If a girl, I will kill her because it is not God’s will for man to repopulate.”

Here are a few more problem areas seen in the rough cut of the film, most of which I expect to be in the final film:

  1. In the film, Noah was robbed of his birthright by Tubal-Cain. The serpent’s body (i.e., Satan), which was shed in Eden, was their “birthright reminder.” It also doubled with magical power that they would wrap around their arm. So weird!
  2. Noah’s family only consists of his wife, three sons, and one daughter-in-law, contrary to the Bible.
  3. It appears as if every species was crammed in the Ark instead of just the kinds of animals, thus mocking the Ark account the same way secularists do today.
  4. “Rocks” (that seem to be fallen angels) build the Ark with Noah!
  5. Methuselah (Noah’s grandfather) is a type of witch-doctor, whose mental health is questionable.
  6. Tubal-Cain defeats the Rocks who were protecting the finished Ark.
  7. A wounded Tubal-Cain axes his way inside the Ark in only about ten minutes and then hides inside. Tubal-Cain then convinces the middle son to lure Noah to the bottom of the Ark in order to murder him (because he was not allowed a wife in the Ark). Tubal-Cain stays alive by eating hibernating lizards. The middle son of Noah has a change of heart and helps kill Tubal-Cain instead.
  8. Noah becomes almost crazy as he believes the only purpose to his family’s existence was to help build the Ark for the “innocent” animals (this is a worship of creation).
  9. Noah repeatedly tells his family that they were the last generation and were never to procreate. So when his daughter-in-law becomes pregnant, he vows to murder his own grandchild. But he finally has a change of heart.
  10. Noah does not have a relationship with God but rather with circumstances and has deadly visions of the Flood.
  11. The Ark lands on a cliff next to a beach.
  12. After the Flood Noah becomes so distant from his family that he lives in a cave, getting drunk by the beach.

There were many other bizarre, unbiblical aspects in the preview cut. Though it’s possible that some of these elements may not make the final cut (though we suspect most will), compare the above list to the trailer that has just been released! The comparison should be very revealing for you. You wouldn’t get much of a hint of most of the biblical problems in the list above based on watching on this cleverly-put-together trailer. A real con job, to be frank! …

…Now, I do recognize that God is Sovereign and He can even use this Hollywood production to cause people be directed to His Word. Let’s pray that despite the unbiblical nature of this movie, that God will move hearts to seek Him.

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