Josiah Grauman on “Why We Chose to have Beautiful Babies” pt 2
Yesterday we looked at part one of Josiah and Crystal Grauman’s decision to have babies, even though they knew there was a 50% chance of the children inheriting Josiah’s condition, which leaves him able to die at any moment. As if we aren’t all living with a condition that leaves us able to die at any moment, some disapprove of his decision to perpetuate the mutant gene. His eloquent, humble, biblical response is inspiring. Here is part two of his response…
1. This is a ‘grey’ area. If I cannot make a Biblical case that something is sinful, then there is liberty. If a family decides to stop having children, I say praise God, if a family decides not to stop and has 15, I say, praise God, may both of them be fully convinced in their own minds and may they rejoice in what God gives them. Paul says about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7 that he wishes to spare us from worldly troubles, and thinks it’s best not to marry at all, but he doesn’t call it sin, so there is freedom.
2. Objective #1: we need to be Biblical parents. Just because we are ‘free’ to do something, doesn’t make it best (1 Cor. 6:12; Phil. 1:10). So we prayed, we sought counsel, and the longer we waited the stronger we desired to have children (See: Found: God’s Will for further details on how this guided us). Crystal strongly desired to have a large family. I loved the idea, but thought it would be hard to biblically parent more than two LDS children given the fact that they would need surgeries and the other children would still need us to instruct, discipline and not exasperate them. Nothing is impossible for the Lord, but it seemed overly difficult, especially with my own physical limitations, to parent children in different houses and hospitals simultaneously. So, we prayed that God would give us many children, but ‘decided’ (Jas. 4:15) that we would stop when He gave us two with LDS. If that meant 7, we would praise Him, if 2, we would praise Him just the same. Three was God’s perfect number .
3. Children are a blessing from the Lord (Psa. 127:3). This is a basic principle that guided us and encouraged us to have children, but one which we have come to understand much more clearly after being entrusted with them. We are so thankful and so grateful to the Lord. In fact, it seems almost silly to me that I once thought they could ‘hinder’ my ministry, knowing now how often the Lord uses them to open doors to speak of His matchless grace. Our children are a blessing in every respect. (Obviously, I am not saying missionaries who prevent pregnancy are sinning, in fact, I think Paul would say they do well, I’m simply speaking of our own experience).
4. The only thing that matters is Christ. To know Christ for 26 physically painful years on earth is incomparably better than to live a millennia without Him and then suffer eternally in hell. This knowledge, through the Holy Spirit, enables me to live my life here in the flesh with complete hope and joy. If a doctor pities me because he thinks my life must be terrible, I pity him. He knows not the joy I feel nor the hope that I have. I’m not mad my parents chose to have me, I’m grateful!
Now, of course, I’m not saying that we should choose pain, or that I go around hitting people so that the Lord would sanctify them, but I am saying that we and all our progeny will have pain, this issue here is only one of degree… a degree chosen by Him, not us, and for our good (Rom. 8:28). So if someone doesn’t want to have children because they might have pain, or because they might not be able to provide for them… then nobody should ever have children!
Furthermore, if I pray “Lord, do whatever it takes to mold me into the image of your Son,” knowing that His molding will most likely require the painful removal of my flesh, but I pray it nonetheless because I know that He knows best, why would I not pray the same thing for my children? And if my mutation has a coin’s flip chance of passing on to my progeny, is not He who sovereignly sustains all things capable of making it land heads 7 times in a row (Prov. 16:33)?
I trust my God, that He will not give me one ounce of pain more than I need for His glory, and I earnestly pray that He will do the same for my children… and for you and yours as well! May He do whatever it takes to save us, be it cancer, a car accident, LDS, or if He wills, a long joyful life of effective ministry.
Full article at theCripplegate.com: